Here it is, you asked for my religion so...

Once I was thinking that if I would like to know the religion of some one I need to ask for the religion of his/her family. Normally the students respond ‘I do not believe in religion or I am atheist.’ It is interesting how people change their conception of religion once they come here.

For example, I remember that at the beginning of my first year I was reading a lot about existentialism, even in Spanish I was reading Albert Camus (who declares himself no existentialistic). I started to think that there was as a kind of conspiracy among the UWC colleges to make us lost our religion….

It is very easy to find reasons and explain the existence of God. For example, something that we are not able to explain we can just say that it is God’s creation or God’s will. However, it is very difficult to explain that God does not exist. Because this will lead us to more and more question that are very difficult to explain trough reasonable explanations. For instance, I proudly declare my self as a hypocritical Christian because I follow my religion only when it is convenient for me to do it.    And I think that is what happens with almost every one. We are not able to find an answer for every thing and the easiest thing that we can do it is to blame or to present metaphysical phenomenon as responsible instead. 

   However, I wander if when a student tells me to be atheist of agnostics s/he is doing it because s/he considers him/her self like that or just because they think that not believing something is cool. Yeah… that can be an excuse…  There also cases where people belief and worship a religion just because they were raised like that (and I am afraid to say that was my case and I guess that thee case of almost every one as well). I know that it does not sound true but religion sometimes plays a very important part in the life of an individual and I think that it is even quite unfair if this depends upon what was impose to him/her.

One day I was in classes and some one said that his personality was in a large expense shaped by his religion. I wander if that person would be different if his religion will be another.

Sometimes I encounter with people who find in their religion a reason for their life. I known Nietzsche would be suffering or laughing by these stories. But the thing is that I do not find it wrong. I mean we believe a lot of stuff to make our life meaningful any ways, for example, believing that education will make me a better person or that by being a good student I will get a very good job and a handsome husband. I think that I do not have enough confidence to stop finding excuses or solutions to my problems by believing something that it may do not exit.

I think that to believe in a religion is something more as a necessity. We like to feel that there is something else controlling the world or taking care f us. Sometimes I feel that we give up our responsibility so easy.

Searching for my IA...

I was searching information for my philosophy IA when I found this:

According to the philosopher Jacques Derrida if there is a possibility that the language, expressions and performative utterance get repeated by anyone over and over again, this includes the possibility of their deviation from their ´intensive meaning in linguistic´. For example, given that the word `mother` has being use extensively since its creation, there is a possibility that it lost its initial meaning as a word. This possibility is call iterability.

 The major quality of this iterability is that language is decentralized. Language does not necessary consist in the communication of true and false statements. It rather undergoes transformation with every repetition of its different configurations. For example, Judith Butler uses this idea to say that the performative of our sexual identity cannot be understood outside of a process of iterability which also involves a regularized and constrained repetition of norms. However, this repetition is not done by the person rather this repetition is what enables the person and constitutes its temporal condition for its sexual identity. Therefore, iterability implies that this performance is not a single act but a `ritualized` production under the forces of prohibition and controlling norms given by the understanding of the ´intensive meaning´ of that performance at the moment that it is exercised. That means that what we understand from something is different from its real meaning. Does it sound absurd? May be not absurd not should I say wear? To think that what we thing of something is not necessary what its original meaning was? Of course, this explains many things as for example the different conceptions of the same thing that can exit in different cultures. However, it will be almost quite impossible to demonstrate what the ‘real’ meaning of something is.

Ring rang, your mom is calling you.

One of my roommates receives a call from her family every day. I do not have an issue with it but she talks in the room even when there is someone sleeping. I never tell her anything but every time that it happens I ask too my self why do I need to hear her private conversations? I know that she has the right to talk with who ever she wants but why IN MY ROOM. However, I cannot tell her anything because we divided our room in such way that each of us has a corner as a mini room. Therefore, what ever we do in our corner is own our business.
Mmmmm, but sound travels through waves, right? So, if she is talking in her corner, this sound will ‘travel’ into my corner. Should I then construct a wall between us to do not allow the air/smell/sound get into my OWN PERSONAL CORNER?
 Being in MUWCI I realized how much importance one gives to one’s personal space. Sometimes, I feel that we defend it as if it was the thing which gives meaning to our life. We are so obsessed with the space that belongs to us that we do not realize that the concept of personal space is sometimes an abstract concept. For example, I was in a discussion for philosophy class about what should be considered when laws are created. I mentioned that the personal space of the individuals affected by these laws should be respected. What did I mean by that? Mmm I am not sure now. Perhaps, freedom of speech? Nope, that does not really exist or, at least, it cannot be brought into practice in a community as MUWCI. Privacy? Mmmm sometimes when I am right in front of my house I can hear when someone is in the bathroom.
We do not really have a private space in our corners. For instance, when my roommates talk by receive a call in the room I could say that they are not respecting my personal space. I could even say that I am not respecting their personal space since I hear their conversations. Can I avoid that? Yes, I may can but it is very difficult thing to do. Why? Because personal space does not really exist. Is not something that is trapped in a box that we can carry with us. However, at least, I like to think that there is something that no one can take away from me, therefore, I will continue pretending that I cannot listen to my roommate’s conversations and that my corner is the sacred place in MUWCI.

Tibetan Fair. Utilitarianism Ab initio.

This last Sunday the Tibetan Club organized a kind of fair to raise awareness and collect founds. They were trying very hard to promote it by showing the things that they were selling. I remember that I wanted to contribute with their cause but I also wanted to get something from it. In he end, I was not sure if I was more happy because I helped or because I added to T- shirts to my closet.
I know that they did a great job (guys if you are reading this, well done!) and collected a lot of money. However, the way in which it was promoted made think about how utilitarian sometimes we can be.
Most of the time, we are specking something from our actions. For example, I may never start writing in a blogspot if I will not receive a grade from it. Nietzsche said that we should separate the doer from the deed, he said it in relationship with punishment and guiltiness but I bring that idea into a more materialistic and utilitarian level (assuming that it can be possible). We are waiting for an expected consequence of our actions. Any ways, is there any action which does not have a consequence? I think there is not.
A problem can be when we think that these consequences should be material. However this notion of materialism (or should I say consumerism?) helps, ironically, to found activities…

Bisexual, heterosexual, homosexual, who cares?!

 I am thinking to write my philosophy IA about sexual identity. Is it interesting, and sometimes even quite absurd, that sometimes pretend to define our selves withing a single category. For example, how many words do we have to classify some one according to his/her sexuality preference, heterosexual, bisexual, homosexual, transvestite, transgender, transsexual, heteroflex, homoflex, (yeah and no, I am not inventing them) heterocurious, homocurious, an so on... It is ironic that to define our selves gives us a feeling of security. We pretend to know ourselves just by being able to put us into a category but sometimes we are doing the contrary.

According to Judith Butler, our sexual identity is socially constructed. I agree with her in the sense that yes, may be society makes us believe that to have a single sexual identity is the best for us. However, I think that we are the ones who classify our selves and no society in itself.

For example, some queer philosophers think that we can choose between being homosexual and heterosexual. Would not being contradictory if there is some one who says that s/he is homosexual but then that person likes some one of his/her other gender. However, s/he decides to do not do anything because s/he is gay?

As I said in one of my previous posts, people change and it is inevitable and sometimes even healthy.

Often we come with new ideas of how to put our selves into a kind of box according to the our preferences. One day I was thinking, ok who do I like. Then, after expending lot of time thinking about it, I realize that I was completely wasting my time because I might change my decision tomorrow.

I am not pretending to say that we should not try to find a single position. What I am trying to say is that we want to it we should do it because we really feel prepared and not because we think it is the best thing to do. And, if we change later on our decision, bah! it is fine! WE CHANGE! and we should know our selves enough to accept it.

Over the summer

During my two years of study in India, I stayed with different families. What was interesting was that

each family was unique. However, every time I meet each one of them for the first time I felt nervous

and scared, wandering whether I would like them. However, this was not necessary since each of them

treated me as if I was their relative. I wondered many times why they were treating me with so much

love and respect. Then, I realized that it was normal. Each family was sharing the same ideals, ambitious

as my family. All of them wanted their children to have a good education; they wanted to have family

time, to help each other. Therefore, it seemed to me that it didn’t matter if we were from another part

of the world, religion or culture; we were connected by this capacity to demonstrate love. This is

something we all have in common. After that, I regretted that I thought of them as if they were from

another planet. One should not let one’s self influenced by stereotypes. It is a question of

understanding the person besides us.

ONE. TWO. THREE. BOOM, BOOM... I AM DEAD.

It is 4 57 am and my eyes are finally hurting. However, I refuse to sleep even though I am lying on my bed as a crude sausage waiting to be cooked. I know you might do not care this but I will tell you since it may help you to understand the reason of this post. I have a friend who is going to join the army in a couple of weeks and I must say that I am afraid. I come from Costa Rica which is apparently the only country which is officially without an army. The thing that is making me write this post is that, I do not want her to be there, I do not any one to be there. I really don't but can I do anything about it? Nope, I can not and I feel so impotent. I do not understand the point of continuing with our existence if we are not even able to help the people we love. I guess people, or at least the human who is written this, is afraid of the vacuum. I understand the concept of existence and meaningful life given by Sartre but until what are the conditions in order to classify our life as meaningful. There are millions of millions of people and I am just one of them.  What would happen if we all try to do something to give our life a meaning. For example, if a life in farm, taking care of my animals and family, I never take part of any movement or group in my village but a give a good education to my children and I always help people when I can, could I say that my life worth? would my life be more efficient than the life of some one who  is always pretending to do a lot of things just for the sake of given a reason to his/her life? 

The Shock Dotrine. I do not like the word normality.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSF0e6oO_tw&feature=PlayList&p=512258BC6AB06162&index=4&playnext=3&playnext_from=PL


I found this video when I was searching for a song in youtube. It talks about how Shock therapy was used by the CIA at the beginning as a strategy to control prisoners. It was used to bring them into a childlike state. Last year, when I was in Calcutta during my project week, I went to one of the Mother Teresa NGO. One day I want to a kind of open discussion with some of the volunteers and the priest of the place. He told us that the patience where receiving electro shock therapy. I asked him why and he simply said that it was to bring them in a 'normal state'. Ha! When he told me that, I had the impulse to kick him.

Why sometimes do we focus so much in trying to make someone to think or behave according to the codes of behavior? How much price does a 'mentally sick' person spends to give the impression that he or she is normal. May be the abnormal people are those focused in finding a cure for 'mental defects'.

There are people suffering just because they do not fit in the moral standard of their society. They are considered as outsiders sometimes because they do not follow the mass.

Do we have the right to coerce some one, even if it implies to inflict pain, because we think it is the best for that person? positive LIBERTY, negative LIBERTY? I do not know which one is better, if there is a bad or a good one. It was interesting, and quite funny I must say, the fact that I was discussing with one of my philosophy classmates about which was the best situation in which we could coarse some one, when should we be allowed to do it and which kind of liberty, according to Isaiah Berlin. It is not that I am too lazy to talk about positive liberty or negative liberty and I known that his argument was not only based on the necessity of pretending to have a normal state for everything in order to keep order or security in society. However, I raise this question before posting something bout it: Do we even know ourselves enough in order to make a decision upon some one?


Sorry but I think we should not unless the persons gives us his or her consent and I think we should stop finding a single patron or a single structure for every thing.

Have you ever thought how many times you tell to some one that you did not expect him/her to behave in a ceirtain manner?

It is very difficult for me to think that things or beings do not change over their life. I still can not find a concrete example of something that never changes.  Besides, if something does not change implies that it is eternal. So far, the only things that I know as ‘eternal’, according to some people, are soul, God or other metaphysical things from which, I think, we do not have existing evidence to prove their existence.

Now, coming back to my main question, do we consider people as beings that never change, as eternal beings having always the same personality (to use the word identity will bring us into another topic ) and doing the same actions or, at least, following the same patron on their behaviour? If we think that things change over their life, we will be contradicting our selves by expecting our friends to behave always in a certain manner depending on the situation.

 Many times, we tend to anticipate how our friends would react to something because we think we know them enough. However, at least I am not sure how well I can know some one when I even know that I am in a constant change. 

Should we claim that we do not expect someone to do something when it depends on his/her voluntary action? I think we should not. It seems something insignificant but we might ignore the fact that we live in a constant process by believing that we could make that claim.  For example, how many times do we tell to someone how disappointed we are with that person because s/he done something that we did not expect without taking into consideration his/her own ‘desires’ or tendency to change.

If we think we have the right to claim when we do no expect one of our friends to do something, we could imply that there is a promise between us. And, if that is the case, it could also imply that our friendship is a kind of economical relationship where each of us gets a benefit from it.  

To tell our friends what we are expecting from them it could even be a way to control them. Perhaps yes, perhaps no, perhaps sometimes. Kant said that people never think that they are going to die since they take it for grounded.

May be we never think that we are always changing; therefore, we forget that the rest of people also changes.

I do not know. It is something that I can not explain, like, like, like those things. You know, do you?

Today I was talking with one friend about our Theory of Knowledge presentation. She was telling me that, apparently, the IB was thinking to consider Intuition as another way of knowledge. How can that be possible? How can you explain that you know something trough intuition? Can you say, for instance, I just felt it? The problem with saying that is that you would be even able to skip the responsibility of your actions because it was something that you just felt that doing it. Besides, saying that you know something through intuition it might imply that there is something metaphysical or, at least, beyond to what we can know just by experience . For example, if we learn something through sense perception it is because the way in which our senses reacted with an external element or in the case of language it can be because we learned it and it helped us to understand and to perceive reality from this point. For the fact that language is imposed, in a certain extent, we can justify and argue how and why we know or we understand something trough it. How can we know what a person knows trough intuition? It is something that is based on him/her, however we can find the same problem with the rest ways of knowing. So what would make intuition different knowledge, language, reason or sense perception? For example, Kant said that we structure our minds according to time and space which are part of our intuition. He said that those basic concepts help us in the understanding of other things. He also said that these things turn as things in themselves once we had experience them. In this case, intuition does not constitute our knowledge but just the initial part of it. Therefore, can we say that we KNOW something trough intuition rather than its base as being aware of its existence?

SILLY GAMES: TO BE CONTINUED.

- What´s up?

- Nothing. I just came from the field.
- So, where you part of it?
- Not really. I just wanted to know how they behaved.
- Who?
- Mmmm… both.
- Did you wake up your roommates?
- Yes I did.
- So… you did something.
- It does not count. What did you do?
- I was part of it. Of course, people did it to me last year. Besides, I wanted to see their bodies lying on the mud. I wanted to see them confused with no direction to go. To see them dancing as if their movements would take the water and the fear away. I wanted to see the bodies falling down over other bodies. No thinking. No reasoning. People did it to us last year. It is a tradition.
- I remember I said that I will not take part of it this time.
- I said the same. It was too excited for me and the same for every one.
- What is that fucking noise?
- They are shouting.
- Still?
- Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
- Cut it off.
- No one knows how it.
- Tell me. How they did it to you last year?
- My friends came to my room. They shouted me 'wake up'. They took my legs and put me out side the room. They locked the door to prevent me to come back. Then, they went away. I waited out side. Some one else came. He sow me, he asked me what I was doing. I did not answer him. I was confused. He went away.
- What happened then?
- I could ear the grumbles coming from another place. I wandering what was it. I thought it was important. Then, I just went there. You know the rest.
- I remember I wanted to cry.
- Did you cry?
- No. Every one was smiling. May be they were not smiling. May be it was so cold that their muscles could not move in another way. I did not care. I just wanted to think that I was not the only one. That they found something funny on it. I sow their smiles and I smiled as well. I was trying to scare reality by pretending that every thing was fine.
- It is a tradition.
- Phylogeny reflects ontogeny? Not all the traditions are good. We should not do something because someone else did it before. Sometimes, we should follow the mass, sometimes not. Those kind of things stick to you back and you can not remove them without leaving a mark. Without leaving a memory of it. The same story but the characters change generation trough generation. Sorry for this expression but…
- Oh come on. Do not apologize in this moment. Just talk. I do not have space for feelings right now.
- I think we are hypocritical. I think we just talk and talk but we do nothing.
- Well... today we took action. Didn’t you see?
- That is not my definition of action.
- I think we are not going to have water to  remove our dirtiness.
- Oh! So, can you just easily remove it by washing you face?!
- I think I will have to stay like this. I will have to eat breakfast with mud. The small lumps of soil following into my cornflakes.
- Does it make any difference?
- And tell me, did you do something?
- No, I did not.
- You also contributed with it.
- What?
- Yes my dear. Sometimes, silent is the bigger shout.
- What could I do any ways? One against almost one hundred people, I do not think so. Minority hardly wins. See, this is a way to say I have power. I am superior to you. My voice makes more noise than yours. Therefore, you ought to show me respect otherwise this will repeat again. But just between you and me.
- It smells like rain.
- Can be the smell of rain stronger than now? How are they?

- They are ok.
- Once I read on internet that, according to its etymology, OK means all correct. What will happen after this?
- We all going for breakfast! I am hungry.
- Again?

I am not a metaphor.

I am different, I am not a metaphor. This is not magical realism. My presence is true. You can also be like this. Yes, I am magic; I am the spirit of the forest, the warrior of the ocean. I am myself. I am not grey. My soul changes, now green, now purple, now blue. I know that the nature is a place inside.



I saw myself in the heights, watching the birds, stirring the leaves. I was a delicious feeling to be part of the tree, part of the ripples in the water. My hands, my hair, my legs, floating… The wind cares me because, I was a leaf, a trunk the sand, swinging. A voice told me that this is how it will be when I died. Then, I realized that I was dying becoming part of the tree, animals and waves.


There are many stories about why and for what they are coming. Some people say that it was inevitable. They broke the silent of the nature, they poisoned the seas; the water just slid in the costumes of the birds and stagnated in the skin. All the green departed each day as if the rivers were walking, the rivers blackened. Everything that live shall die, like soldiers breathing lethal gas, the fire in the roots pursues us.


The destruction breaks the consciousness of the earth. All that survived yawns its destruction against time. I don’t want a garden. I want a jungle. That is why I have the most painful part of the ritual. Resuming existent. By dreaming always one can survive in this kingdom.


I am different, I am not a metaphor. This is not magical realism. My presence is true. You can also be like this.

I wrote this for a theatre assignment. It was especially for Earth day. I know it can sound cliché but I think it is absurd the fact that we do usually do not pay attention to the damage that we are causing to this planet. I do not pretend to sound as a PETA fellow but I just want to point out that we are not usually aware of the amount of garbage we trough without thinking that some of it can be reused or recyclable.
When I was a child I learnt that, in average, a person normally wastes around 1.5 kg per day. He! I think it is actually more than that.
We should, at least, try to be aware of what we are doing. This world does not only belong to me or to you. My children and your children will have to know how to solve our mistakes. They will have to learn how to life in this kind of world that we are leaving for them.

Sometimes my mother, sometimes me, sometimes every one.

My grand father died in summer and my mother sent me an email saying that he is now in Heaven taking care of us. When she told me that I could not say anything else more than ‘mmm, sure’. I knew that this idea was making her happy, by creating a fantasy and, in such way, it was also her way to accept that her father die. I could not tell her that I do not think my grandfather is in Heaven wearing a white toga, chanting with the angels. Because that idea was making her feel better. I now, perhaps, she was cheating her self. She was trying to find explanations to what just happened. She was trying to find a cure to her vacuum .


I did not see any reason why  I should tell her that it was just a type of fantasy, that it was not real or that I refused my self to believe her ideas about death. I know some philosophers said that we should be strong enough to do not create fantasies, do no try to find a solution for our problems by inventing external forces or believing that something controls us and the world. But, what is wrong with it? Why do we bothered if some one does it? Why do we think that person is stupid or week for believe such things? What is wrong in been happy by avoiding reality?


Trough my life I met some people who dedicate their life to ‘God’. Some of them had continue living because they think that something much better than this life is wanting for them. Do we lost or win something by destroying what make them?